House of 1000 Corpses DVD Review
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES | DVD REVIEW [SEPT 9, 2003]
I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about this film. It’s hard because House of 1000 Corpses is one hell of an unbalanced film. In places it’s brilliant, ranking among the best in its genre, but for the most part it is a plodding exercise in mediocrity. I absolutely loved the first 5 and the last 15 minutes of the film, but the whole middle portion should have been tossed. I didn’t hate it, I just was completely indifferent toward it, and that’s a sign something’s terribly wrong.
The basic story involves four kids on a road trip, writing a book about obscure roadside attractions. On a stop to get some gas they check out Captain Spaulding’s (Sid Haig) Murder Ride and find out about Dr. Satan, a legendary serial killer/psycho doctor that performed gruesome experiments on his patients. They set out, in the middle of a stormy night, to find the tree where Dr. Satan was supposedly hanged by an angry mob. Along the way pick up a hot hitchhiker (Sherri Moon) who says she can show them where to find the hangin’ tree. Their car pops a tire, and they end up stuck at the hitchhiker’s house. Of course the family that inhabits the house is out to kill them. It’s a basic horror story line from the 70’s, and one that is fairly tried and true when it comes to the genre.
As I said, I loved the beginning and the end, but the middle portion’s filled with annoying characters (both the good guys and the bad), puerile, inane humour that would only be funny to a stoned fifth grader, and amazing special effects you barely get to see. The sad thing is Zombie had such a great cast of veteran exploitation and horror actors to work with. Sid Haig (Spider Baby, The Big Doll House), Karen Black (Easy Rider, Burnt Offerings), Bill Moseley (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, The Blob (1988)). The characters are a complete mixed bag as well The good guys are made up of two prudish, bitchy girls, a sci-fi geek, and a horror junkie (played by longtime friend of Rob Zombie, Chris Hardwick. He essentially plays his old Singled Out host persona.) These characters are hard to empathise with, as you are sort of pleased when each character finally meets their doom. One main character dead equals one less annoyance. It doesn’t help that the family, while made up of an awesome assortment of freaks, is so damn annoying you can’t side with them either. I loved the character of Dr Satan, even though the name is unbelievably stupid (like something I would have come up with in 7th grade) but he’s only on screen for a split second. The Professor character, Dr Satan’s sidekick and genetic experiment, is equally intriguing, though he’s only in it for a good 3 minutes.
I had actually been waiting quite a long time for House of 1000 Corpses. The film had promised a full return to old school horror, but it is surprisingly lacking in shocks and in gore. The absence of CG is very welcome, and Wayne Toth did an excellent job on the gore and creature effects, but you’ll only be able to appreciate his work if you have a remote control handy and your finger primed on the pause button. That’s because most of it is actually only shown in a flash cut where if you blink, you’ve missed it. I believe this is mostly due to the hatchet job Rob was forced to do in the editing room by the Fascist Regime of Uber-Censorship (MPAA), so I will reserve complete judgment until the director’s cut is finally released.
Of course the film has repeatedly been compared to the original Texas Chain Saw Massacre due to the fact it’s the first film in quite a long time to attempt a serious foray into the slasher genre. While it’s definitely better than Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive, it still has a ways to go before it reaches the Texas Chain Saw Massacre’s level of greatness. In fact, I’d say it’s more along the lines of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III.
While it may not be exactly what was promised, it is still an important attempt at returning to the glory days of 70’s and early 80’s horror. In that case I’d say it’s important to support this film if you want to see actual horror films in the future, rather than comedies disguised as horror films, a la Scream. I just hope a legitimate Director’s Cut finally comes out so we can see what was originally intended. I’m fairly certain Rob Zombie will fix the problems of this film when he does House of 1000 Corpses 2.
THE DVD:
The disc itself is a mixed bag as well. The menus are set up so that you interact with the film characters. To activate the DVD you ring the bell on Captain Spaulding’s counter and he comes out and greets you with “Shit the bed!” It’s mildly amusing, once. Each menu is set up with one of the characters telling you the options, then blabbering about assorted things. If you don’t choose an option fast enough they’ll get mad at you and curse you out. It’s a novel idea, only it gets to be quite annoying.
As far as special features go you have a fairly dull commentary by Rob Zombie. I was hoping to get some insight as to how hard it was to make the film. Rob mainly talks about what his intention was with a scene, why it didn’t work out quite as he planned, and how over all he thinks it “turned out pretty good.” I didn’t learn anything about the film from the commentary, but it did help me fall asleep. I actually had to listen to the commentary in installments. I dare a reader to count how many times he says “it turned out pretty good” throughout the commentary.
You also have a gallery of special effects art by Wayne Toth amd assorted set pics. These galleries are fun, but a little too small. You have a promo reel from Universal Pictures which makes the film look a little more intense than it actually is.
Then there’s the selection “Tiny Fucked a Stump.” This is just a long take of the dvd hosts/actors in front of a green screen telling bad jokes with Tiny Fucked a Stump as the Punchline. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Charles. Charles who? Tiny fucked a stump! Maybe it’s funny if you’re high. I mean really, really, really high.
Then you have some audition footage. It seems interesting, but the audio level is so low that it’s hard to hear. I never cared much for audition footage anyway.
The behind the scenes featurette is mainly a collection of handycam moments during filming. You get to see certain shots being filmed and Bill Moseley eating.
Lastly you have the cast and crew interviews. Questions flash on the screen and the actors respond. Sherri’s not much of a horror fan, Bill Moseley seems a little embarrassed, and I was hoping for a lot more from Sid Haig. But Wayne Toth is fairly interesting. Probably the best special feature.
So overall you have an unbalanced film on an unbalanced disc. I don’t hate the film, but I don’t love it the way I had originally expected. I have watched the film twice, but I still want to wait for the Director’s Cut before my final judgment is cast on the film. Check it out. Help support old school horror. Just don’t expect it to be everything that was originally promised.
–Chris Nelson